FoundAlongRoad

How could I ever fight against
The monster you made me in your mind
The truth is I saw it all of the time
No explanations, understandings, I could never get it right
To show you any of my whys
For little mistakes or what I lacked
Even when I had the purest intentions
Just had to try to do better..
It was a glimpse into a trauma spiral, every time you told me your point of view, and I tried everything until I just stayed in denial of what that must do
To our reality
And eventually my actions became weapons
But only of retreat
I wanted parlay
And yours turned to swords at me..
I suppose there was a part of me
That couldn’t admit it was obvious
I’d always end up being
The dragon in your dreams
But for so long I tried so hard to be the knight
Rusty shield, emaciated but god did I try
Always given the wrong directions to the battles you were fighting in your mind
Or maybe they just weren’t any I could ever fight
Most of the time
I didn’t want you to be a princess needing saving
Just a warrior at my side
Take turns taking watch around the fire
I never agreed to sprout these wings
These horns I didn’t grow on my own
I would have let you conquer me if I knew I was the problem and that doing so would solve them
Wouldn’t be the first time
But I was picking off these scales you kept seeing on me
Begging not to be
Your monster
At the end you were throwing things trying to get me to fly
To go away
Starve alone in some cave
Idk how to fit that little boy or our family into this metaphor but I didn’t understand why suddenly I was the thing that not only had to leave
But had to be beaten
And the day you slayed me, it wasn’t poetic
I didn’t rise from the ashes
Did it make you feel better?
I hope it made you feel better
Or I would if I could do anything but bleed..