FoundAlongRoad

I’m not sure how I feel tonight
Something isn’t sitting right
Like typical cut-open
To see where the pain hides
Like maybe that blade wasn’t sharp enough
To get to the root of what’s fucking me up
It feels a bit like a piece of my own mind
Had been playing hide and seek to find
Out how long it would be until I
Uncover these things that were hidden by all these feelings inside
Trying to pull up traumas from the depths
And since I’ve been here they’ve been at rest
Rising slowly only the ones connected to whatever this has been
And for the first time it settled into permeating everything
Without pushing forward like deal with this first
Now it’s an empty kind of echo of the rest of my hurt
It wasn’t a band-aid it’ll live in me but it was a brace
Giving me all the best energy to find my worth
And now the things that were waiting have started to pace
Slowly just turning waiting for me to face
The holes and the uncertainty
The regret and the worst of me
But it’s coating me softly
Like it won’t break me
And I think that’s from all of this love
But I have to let it take me
To an empty room that’s reserved
For the things that I’m not sure what to do with yet
And sort them slowly, dust on my skin
The hardest parts in the quiet moments
One bit at a time and I’ll make it through this
It’s just a little unsettling going from the brightest
Even the pain built a place for light to shine in
But this room isn’t quite so well-lit
Where all the shadows of all of myself live
Hollowing out space left in my chest
To curl up and lie down
Just be with me for a while
Bringing the soft breath of night back in
Darkness is the old dirt road that leads to a dear friend
When the stars are behind clouds
And you can’t see where home is
But everything is still and familiar
And you know you’ll get where you’re going
I guess I need to walk this path for a few miles
Soothe this heart that’s been beating too fast for a while
Reflect on things I had that I wanted that never fit right
And the things I’ll never have that I want that aren’t meant to be mine
And how it would all end the same
I will still have the same brain
And I have to work at the things I can change
And love myself hold myself in the things that’ll never be like everyone else
And find my place.