FoundAlongRoad

Maybe you’re not right for me
Or I’m not right for you
I don’t want another lover that rips me
Open but no one
Does it like you
You’re kinda good for me
I’m no good for you
But I just want peace
Then you calm me
And I wonder if you could also be my comfort
I’ll never have your heart
So I’ll never know
I think it’s for the best though
We get by
so easily
But sometimes
We’re oil and water
And it’s healthy for you to make me face my issues
But then I’m left all bloody gotta sew myself back to
This facade of a whole person
And I don’t think I do any good for you
Maybe I had it all wrong
Maybe we’re just meant to be
Just like this
But I don’t know what it means
When you won’t do ‘in-between’
Lately I’m just restless
Everything in moderation
But we test this
Higher highs and softer middles
The drops remain the same
My feelings ebb and flow but do not change
I’m just looking at them differently
And I set myself away when I want you too much
And I am not the same when I’m feeling numb
But it all cycles back around
I just dk what that means now
Maybe I’m not meant to
But my mental state needs a plan
I struggle to function when I don’t understand
And the cuts burn
And the smiles soothe
And still I love you
And yet I think we’re not meant to
Have anything defined by society’s lines don’t have time to find where love could hide by their definition but I feel it in every second of this and that boundary creeping up on me like to cross into new territory could be what we need or could break everything if we try to put it into words when it’s worth more and yet never enough it lives outside these tired cliches of what it should be and I don’t blame you for seeing things through that lense but I don’t think it fits this and I don’t know where we’re going and I think that’s how it has to be cuz if we try to force this all I see is shattered opportunity and I’m a little unsettled by putting energy out into the darkness not knowing if I’ll get broken, dismissed, or if all that you are will meet me in this.. or which one would be the wrong way to handle it.. but I don’t think we’re supposed to know, on the edge and staring over, I’ve already thrown it all out there and there’s no closure to be found here.. so I’m just gonna stand still at this drop off and watch the water swirl below, twisting turning, changing directions as it goes.. watch the beautiful sunset like the determination you get when you talk about putting yourself first.. I will stay in my supporting role and observe.. as night falls and day comes again, if I’m lucky enough to live another rotation and maybe someday it’ll all make sense.. flaws and all it’s a gorgeous creation.. looking over the precipice.