FoundAlongRoad

(-)
The other night I was reminded
I don’t mean much in your mind
You saved me and broke me and left me traumatized
I built back stronger and wouldn’t change the time
I swear you came to me after years
Apologized
And we healed in our own minds
But you talk about it now like we barely existed
And I’m reminded everything is twisted
By our perspective
People I hold onto never think of me
Women I’ve loved I’m not even a piece of
And they live in me
All the memories
The ones that haven’t fallen into holes at least
Stay rent free
And I wasn’t anything important
I guess that’s how it works when they never really loved me
But it feels like the worst when I was shaped by the defeat
And the good times
Letting go has never been my thing
Strong emotions make it all dramatic
And I let go of you so long ago
But I remember it happened
And what it meant
The way you talk is like it never did in your head
The string tying together all my past loves and relationships
Who am I kidding, also the current
Just kidding myself
I started to find the worth in what my friends told me
If you’re not capable of feeling the difference between 2 women and that connection then why would I ever give you my heart
I like an uphill battle
Cuz when that door opens it’s fucking biblical
But the truth is it almost never does
And I don’t wanna be who I was
Realizing the me we all made doesn’t know how to be loved
When she reciprocates

And I don’t wanna keep searching for the highest high of opening her eyes cuz it never comes and I never get back to where I was my emotional heroin waiting for you to find that I’m enough..
And doing something different means I’ll be alone
But at least if love ever finds me I’ll be less broke(n)
And I won’t have settled for this toxic hopelessness
But goddess it’s the hardest to resist
(-)
When I know that you’re right at the tip
Of seeing the whole world different
And what a force that would be
The potential for you, in you, that I see
I live in imagination, only possibility
Not probability
‘imagine if you fell in love with me’
And I waste away on this adrenaline-filled chase
Thinking I’m leading you someplace
When you’re taking me away
From knowing my worth
And the beautiful feminine perfection I already know
How do I let you go..
I guess eventually I let them all go..
But pieces in me live rent-free..
And I’m the only one that knows