FoundAlongRoad

And I think this has all been good for me
More healing than anything
But I think I need to start writing other things
Get lost in fantasy again
Not just the fantasy of you

And idk if this has been any good for you
Make it easier then force it on you
And I think I’m moving into doing reckless things
Not like before
Or maybe more
Who knows what I’ll do

So I try to keep myself away
Cuz all the light dimmed but still feels the same
And I’m in love with insane
Wanna push you across my boundaries
Cuz I’m no good for you
So who knows what I’ll do

I love you getting more comfortable
I know I’m missing moments but I’m not sure
If I’ll ruin them any more
Cuz you fed into my addiction to you
Perfect except idk if you meant to
Now I’m on some new shit
Things I said I’d never do
Cuz the tease made me feel better
Addicted to the adrenaline
Seratonin found in your skin
And the way you go off the edge
Like just a taste
Being taken over
By my craving
And who knows what I’ll do
It’s like I’m not sure where your lines are
Been waiting to see
And now I just wanna trip over them
Make them find me
All the things I know I shouldn’t do
Both the innocent and the fueled
Are too much to put on you
wish that wasn’t the dynamic
But when you give it right back
When you go too far put it right back on me
I can’t get enough chasing that high
Took so long for this first time
But it wasn’t the same and now idk my name
Feel so much better and yet worse
I know I should be a good person
I want to be for you
But lately I’m on some dumb shit
Like if there’s just a deep dark corner you’re still hiding
I need to know that
So I gotta bring the light in
But it’ll blind you
Who knows what I’ll do
Idk if I can live with that
Going too far
That’s your role
And the aftermath
If it hurts you
Who knows what I’ll do
Or if I could live with that
So I’m fighting myself in a losing battle
Like I know it’s in there somewhere
But does it matter
It doesn’t make it ok
To not know what I’ll do
Cuz addiction to the toxic
Means I like to feed it
‘I’m problematic’
And the way you calm me
It’s still like that
But now I’m boiling over too
So who knows what I’ll do
I haven’t decided what wrong or right is
Cuz I don’t know if it’s just denial
Why do I wanna force it
Ruin the whole thing
Am I self-sabotaging
Or just dying to move forward
I said we need a new dynamic
I just meant a new pace
Where I can knock on that wall
To remind you it’s there
Keep the notion of the inevitable fall
In your mind somewhere
But now who knows what I’ll do
Don’t wanna do that to you
When idk what you’ll do..
Or maybe I do.