FoundAlongRoad

And the tide breaks over crashing into you
Started what I swore I wouldn’t do
Got lost in the lifting, forgot the bottom fell out
I can’t ever forget or be unaware for a minute
I have healing to do

I’ll forgive myself without bringing it up
And just do better tomorrow
It’s a long road for the rest of my life
I guess I just let go for a night

And maybe it’s nothing or maybe it’s the cause for pause
But inside I was jumbled, stopped grieving my loss
If you can’t sit comfortably in the darkness it will consume you
I was running into the light, hope in full view
Now I let out my tears and try to not allow my fears to beat me
Or put them on you
But isn’t this being human too
Maybe I can’t do that all the way
Just an illusion of a person
Living in imagination
Checking in just to feel your pain or laugh too easily
The high is so addicting
Is that being human too
I guess I’ll try to be human with you
But the mess gets swept into the corners don’t look too closely
It’s getting better every day but oh so slowly
Cuz it’s so easy to fall into you
Is that the human thing to do

Tidy my mind and pour feelings into ink
Of all the insecurities and regrets
They can come out in pieces but they’re only meant for me to process
Cuz I know what happens when it’s left to excess
Broken hearts and trauma littering my path of exes
I’m just trying to be human now
I guess some nights I’ll fuck it up
When you’re just this close to being right there where I know we could go
And I swear I won’t push it
That’s your door to open
You have your own pain too
But when you crack it like that, like the crack of your drink can
A part of me gets lost a decade ago or so
Like it was just yesterday and full of innuendo
Is that being human too
Sometimes idk anymore but I have to get it all sorted inside
Cuz I meant everything I said but I always make myself a liar
I won’t do that again
You only deserve what’s human
And even then only the best
To let you be human too
Only human

But the only lesson I’ve learned is mine is a different kind of human than you
Should I apologize or let it slide to not harp on what you don’t quite understand yet or even want to
Give you time
-()-
And I’m just learning to feel like a person again
Just trying to be human
I suppose to anyone else that won’t make sense
But that’s only human