I’ve been trying so hard
To see your flaws
Remember all the things that hurt
Cuz no matter how tight
I try to hold on
To knowing we would never work
You walk in and meet my eyes
And I get stupified
I swear my heart fucking glows
And I’m doing fine
During the days and even most nights
But I’ve been trying
To convince myself we’re a terrible match
I can’t remember one reason when you look at me like that
But I take a few steps and even in the midst of this peace
I remember you don’t want me
I get bashful and insecure
Even when I’m comfortable
Cuz for a second I forget
That I’m the only one in this
It comes back doesn’t hurt as bad
As it used to
It’s like a dull ache
This need of you
But I’ve been trying to tell my mind
All the many reasons why
I shouldn’t want anything more anyway
But then this morning all you did was walk in like a normal day
And something broke free in me
Went somewhere out of logic’s reach
And whispered that I know deep down
you’ve had my heart for a while now
And I might as well stop fighting
Should probably stop denying
Sometimes the things that feel right don’t make a bit of sense
And I know I can’t make myself
Love you any less
Believe me I’ve tried
Cutting words and I’ve cried
Incompatibilities I’ve repeated over and over
But I still just want you closer
Continually intrigued by every thought you speak
Constantly wishing I knew what you would think
About big things stupid things and even when I don’t agree
My favorite trails to follow are the ones your thoughts take me..
There’s still a tug-of-war inside my head
Cuz I’m around you acting like an idiot
Then I make myself take just a minute
And I think how did I get so deep in this
Still desperately pulling myself toward the shore
I don’t know how to go with this current when I didn’t ask for
It to sweep me out to sea
Losing sight of land
It’s terrifying
No lifejacket it just threw me in
And my arms are tired from all the treading
I’ve been doing
Fighting the tide, stopping and floating
But when I slow I look around where I’m going
Drifting toward the middle of this fucking ocean
Whether I like it or not
All I’m doing is wearing myself out
Feeling like I’m gonna drown
If I don’t fight it
But I already lost this battle the first time the water touched me
The first day I looked into your eyes and they took me..