FoundAlongRoad

I never knew you had such cruelty in you
That you could hate me so much that I almost question if the way you see me is correct
He thinks I abandoned him
-()-I was the one loving him when your feelings were too big to see anything else
He’s innocent and even I didn’t deserve it much less him and I will never forgive you for it. The fact that I almost married you turns my stomach enough to never again want to fall in love
Wrapping red flags in desperation
There was no comprehension between us
And I killed myself to try until I instead let it kill us
I never meant to warp you into the horror you have become
I could apologize for many things as I did and there will be more in time
But I will never give you the words or any more of me
It never changed a thing or was really reciprocated
But I know that wasn’t on purpose
But this, the nights hearing him cry without knowing why I couldn’t just come to him, the eternal hours now wondering if he will ever forget or always be waiting to see me again
The fear knowing tho you have love there is no room in you for any other living thing
Even at our worst I didn’t ever imagine you could do this
And I will never forgive you for it.

I’ve been brainwashed, manipulated, neglected, and made suicidal by various exes, but I’ve never felt so much resentment. I can’t hate you because I know you too well, know the shape of every bit of unwell
Except I didn’t think you capable of this.
And for this, I will never forgive you.