FoundAlongRoad

As rebound chemicals and fantastical pedestals crumble and ebb
Eroding timelines of what has never really been
The receding reveals both constants of what is real
The perpetual miracle of where we meet
And the harsh weight of our divergence
With no secret key
To unlock a path of peace
And yet when life looks bleak
The love that never dies comes to me
And when days look bright
Yours is still the first I think
To wish to share it with
And the consuming thrashing of having what really matters wrapped in this damning daunting concrete trapping
Knowing that taking a jackhammer to it only split us into pieces
And oxytocin surrounds this bond like a fog pulling tight every heartbeat
Stirs the deep fear in me
The absolute uncertainty
Of not knowing if it’s more dangerous to pull you close or let you go..
Either one could surely kill us both..
And it’s not knowing if I could ever be strong enough to love you how your heart wants without sacrificing my sanity again to try
And yet knowing the motivation is never gone, the important depth never to find again with anyone, so I’m not sure if I’m also too weak to ever truly move on..
So here I sit paralyzed
Trying to soak it in as life passes by
I missed the simpler things like only worrying about me and mine
But over and over again I also miss every bit of you and I
Waves of fear crashing over an undertow of determination, pulling me back and forth in the want to try so hard sometimes..
We’ll never be done healing
Maybe we’ll never get it right
I can’t tear either of us apart again inside
But I can’t tear you from I
And how I feel inside
So there is only time
Time building growing and slipping away never knowing
Until you can see in hindsight
And the scariest thing is what then I’ll find..
But is it the safer of two dangers to be paralyzed