FoundAlongRoad

Put so much distance
From my emotions
Lost in destruction and decisions
I’m not even sure I need to make
But it put space for me to come to terms
Feels like coming full circle
-()- a door you could open but the thought makes me uneasy cuz I can’t fix those broken pieces and I just wanna be there as me and see you as you and I don’t wanna see every bit of what you put up with and all the blindness but I don’t dream of being Jesus to those sins anymore..
I’ve been so caught up in the what-if of the things I did, I haven’t even been able to concentrate on what it meant for how badly I handled my feelings making life-altering mistakes that weren’t even worth it too lost in if now there are consequences -()-
But for a minute I could breathe and you opened back up all that physicality -()-
but now I don’t kid myself about it being more and we both have so much life to deal with, separate, and then points where we intersect and I’m just thinking since you said you wanted it can we just connect I swear just skin deep cuz there will never be a day every part of me doesn’t get electrified at the chemistry between you and me -()-
Shaking my head softly at the ‘I wish we could’ or ‘if you had’
Cuz it’s like girl, we can
And I wanna laugh
At the same cycle that comes back around
Cuz it’s lighter now
And it’s funny all the pain cuz I thought it was me
But it got put on the back burner and then out of nowhere
-()-
Cuz it wasn’t me and it is still the same
As we’ve always been
You’re just getting to know you more
So the desire creeps back up so weightless this time in the face of insecurities I couldn’t face that have now tucked away and in the middle of all the catastrophe that seems to just be life and I think about how it all seems such a little thing now, to think of just passing time in the spark between us now, funny how time changes perspectives, and still those words from you ignite that same old flame of want but I think of all this has been and has become and I just smile a little and shake my head cuz life is really something..