I was walking by
And I could hear you two in your room
And I remembered for just a second
All the nights where I was the one in there with you
Now I’m here
But out here
It all feels so weird
It’s not like I want it back
Maybe sometimes my feelings do
It’s just nostalgia is a hell of a drug
But I thought about what we had and how I wouldn’t take it as who I am now
I miss certain pieces and connection
But not the holes I couldn’t fill
And for the first time I thought of other nights
What I had with her
Knowing I was her world
It was a strange safety while knowing the things I could try but couldn’t share
A bizarre loneliness that had felt like love was real
It was codependent calm
That felt like home
But my house had always been chaos
It was a weariness
Wrapped in everything I’d ever been looking for
If you didn’t scratch the surface too far
But I remember nights laughing and talking
And how I still never found what feels like everything
But she came so close for a while
The funniest thing is time
And nostalgia is a hell of a drug