FoundAlongRoad

I feel molten today
Like it’s all burning from the inside
And all around
But it’s just cracking out
Like fissures up and down my sides
While I feel the burn like a drive
To just say fuck it
To pull them all closer
To not give a shit
About everything that’s over
Just heat waves coming off of everything
Cuz we’re at the ending
Both at this huge loss in different ways
In the same orbit feeling the same blaze
Just living in the moment
Saying ‘come get me’ to death
And I wanna cry when you say you don’t have much time left
Wanna hyperventilate about not knowing where we’ll lay our heads
But none of it comes out we just keep running and pushing it down like fuck it is all crumbling now just keep running until it catches up cuz eventually we all go down..
Take our hours where we can’t get out of bed
Take our -()- to feel right again
Or at least something
And we’re all drowning in different ways in this same place
Different degrees but alike to a certain pace
So we turn it up or we tune it out
Pour out our insides sitting in the driveway
Go out and do whatever the night has to say
We only have a few days
But then it’s just a different struggle
As long as our heartbeat stays
And I feel it burning up in my chest in my stomach
Like it’s ramping up
Will we end up in the same place
Will we have more days like today
And how will we even live this way..
So I turn down the rage let it smolder away and turn into you when you laugh and I push time itself away
The whole world is a crucible and lately it’s a white flame
Let it burn into our very tattoos
Liquor burning going down reminds me how the reaper has you now and I can’t take it away
Cigarettes burning slow light another let’s go
Even when living feels like dying trying to breathe the life in to this place
Snap the moments like a Polaroid in my mind
Burning like the -()- we pass when we have that cuz we don’t have anything time will pass like a magician you can’t grasp the tricks can’t hold onto the moment or a place to live but it’ll be a new chapter so let this one burn down.. going out in a bonfire set it all up tall so they can see us aflame but fuck em anyway

The night stills down to a crackle amongst the sound of fan blades
Start to count our mistakes
But the embers never go out and it’s never silent in this town or quiet in our brains even when we don’t say
Anything
Until the flames start licking at our skin again like Lilith’s kiss just let her in
They don’t tell you how when you fall far enough but keep your love
Everything is just constant burning..

Whether it’s to start the soil anew
Or cuz the devil didn’t have anything better to do
At a certain point it doesn’t matter anyway
The heat feels the same whether you tell yourself tomorrow’s another day or that it might not come anyway

Take your turn trying to walk through the flame
Take the hose to it
Other times lighter fluid
See how long you can stand the proximity
It doesn’t matter anymore
Maybe it will again someday
But I can’t see the future or a way to start building one again
What’s it say about me that I prefer these scorching summer nights to winter any day
Burn it down it’s already gone anyway
I’ll keep the memories with me until my brain hides them away
Left with all these ghosts of feelings and nothing to explain
So sear it into me
Again
Everything I love
All the losing
The ink I’m scared to get
Let life brand it all right into my chest
Until it stops moving.

Then take my ashes into the wind
Eternity
Let them land in water..
Flow somewhere soft at the end of all of this..
Until then we’re still burning.