FoundAlongRoad

Idk if we’re meant to be more than friends..
But at my lowest at my worst, right now
and if I was on my deathbed
one of the few regrets I’d have left
Is never letting us find out

I guess I told myself you never felt the same
And if you hinted at it I ran away, cuz I wanted all of you too much and you had yet to experience so much..

But honestly if all this hell, and this inability to ever wanna love again
Would be worth anything
Those three words, ‘should’ve kissed me’ last time
Feels like it makes my whole life worth it, worth everything

And I never really wrote about you even though I wanted to cuz you were above all the rest
I think I couldn’t handle that I fell so hard, it was too late by the time I knew -()- and I backed so far away but we kept getting drawn in and I tried to do the right thing -()- it wasn’t that hard cuz we were the best of friends and I had been in your shoes but I think it threw me that i could be so into you not knowing and it never went away it just changed shape and then a couple years later -()- it doesn’t make it right, for you.. re reading your words i think you loved me too, a little bit
Maybe deep down I knew it and I was scared to be like everyone else taking advantage
And I was always scared to ruin one of the best things in my life
Looking back I can see how it looked how it must have felt when I got with her..
But I didn’t think you were really an option and I felt like you shouldn’t be, not for me
But I never got over you
And you’re always like a part of me, romantic or not
The years where we disappeared from each other
Now and then I couldn’t fight how I missed you and I’d leave messages and it’s been so long since we really connected
But I saw you a couple years ago
You weren’t yourself but you were beautiful
And I was a mess how could you want me
So I watched from afar again
Now hearing you, yourself again, loving me like you always did, I think it healed a part of me I was scared to admit was broken
But you saying I should’ve kissed you..
I kinda wanna freeze this moment forever, I’m scared to breathe
You’re my Katy Perry song, ()
You’re the one I shouldn’t want
But you’re also one of the best friends I’ve ever had
And I have a fear of breaking that
Maybe I should never have asked
I’m mourning my whole life right now
But you come around like a break in the clouds
When I need it most
I just wanna do better now
We’re both older and wiser
But with you there’s no room for messing it up
You’ve always meant too much
I can’t even write about you my head is spinning and I’m scared to move
I just wanna hold those words and not let anything ruin
This moment
The relationship we’ve had
The way I felt reading that
All of you.
This mess of a heart that’s no good for you..
It’s no good for me too
Can we just cherish us this once
And build up from the past
New and improved
Not rush it or let it die
I couldn’t handle losing that
Losing you
Would be my last straw
You’re like coming back to life
And I just wanna put our love in a jar
And never let time or the world taint it
If I kiss you everything changes
More than it ever has for me
That’s what you mean
And if I don’t I’ll still die wondering
N hoping
But I won’t have had and lost you
I think I need to grieve and heal
And get to know you again
You’re too important to
Jump into anything
But time has changed everything
Except how much I love you.