FoundAlongRoad

A week and a couple days
Surprised to find I’m afraid
You’ll do what’s best for you and go away
I wouldn’t blame you
Idk where to go from here
Just need somewhere he’ll be alright
Care more about that then where I lay my head at night
-()-
How’d I get here once again
I know this path has taken me where I need to be even when it’s so dark I can’t see how to keep going it’s been throwing me saves in with the misery making me face me

I got attached again I feel it
And yet everything’s still so distant
I’m not even a little surprised
Well maybe a bit at the way energies fit
But not at my reaction
Maybe it’s cuz I haven’t tried to force anything from it
Slowly learning to accept what is
And what it’s never been
And never will be
Maybe it’s easier with you cuz we’ve been through it
And cuz it’s harder to do
With her
It’s hard to know your own worth when you also see what you don’t have to give so really I just feel wistful like maybe if I was a person again
Still have so much trouble letting my personality out
Or even speaking
I hope in time I heal
And that the days are useful in teaching in the meantime not to hold a grudge once I’m worth something but not to the one I want
Must be a reason
This all feels like a lesson I needed
Through the pain and struggle
But right now I can’t be upset cuz I’m a mess
And I don’t have a leg to stand on
This story can’t be over yet
Gotta get somewhere
So I can get out of survival mode again
Feel like I’ve been stuck in this gear
For years
Trying to balance
Growth with all of it
No wonder nobody gets anywhere
When life everywhere
Seems like a fight against time
Against death, against misery
We’re not supposed to have to live like this
Tear down society rebuild it
It’s not within my grasp..
And I’ve never belonged in that.