FoundAlongRoad

Never gonna come before your d o c
It’s your Best friend
Favorite lover
The poison knocking at your door
It’s actually living already dead
Just dressed as escape
Love will never come before it
If even blood doesn’t
You can’t say it doesn’t come first
Just cuz you say it won’t fuck it up, it won’t hurt
It’s still a risk, a choice
But you’re so damn sure
Harmless
Done it a million times before
It’s one hundred
Sure.

() she said () that ‘its disgusting that I let it control me n that I don’t have control over my mind like that’, .. .. ..but then you using/needing chemical reaction (drugs) just to feel ok, so messed up over cravings you can’t even stop lashing out for days increasingly more until you’ve broken me. Who you say you love. But what you’ve decided I do is disgusting. Ok.

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I blocked out the fact that I was having nightmares of what would happen if you went back
Maybe that’s why my gut instinct was to react
With

–
I did it again told myself I knew
What I was getting into
I always think I’m stronger than I am
My heart melds into you and I’m weak again
At the times when I can’t afford to

–
And I wonder wtf you miss about this
Maybe I’m just so far removed
I don’t want any of it
Wanna scream
Cuz of how hard it is to initially stay clean
But you put yourself back in it like it’s nothing
Tell yourself it’s easy
But hasn’t it been hard lately