FoundAlongRoad

I think I’ve been holding too much in
I don’t let myself think of him
Cuz it is grief
Knowing I’ll never see him again
And it gives me white hot rage at you
But that only covers the wound
Underneath there’s this gaping hole
I’ve been though so much shit
But this makes me feel like I’ll never be ok again.
Those two were at times my only reason to not die
The only good I could see in this world on the dark nights
And I know you wanted to be that to me
Goddamnit there were times you were
But not loving you the way we both wanted me to
Isn’t a good enough reason to do
This.

I think of how I still bawl if I mention her
Can’t even put her title here it never got enough easier
I don’t believe in anything but energy and now that’s all she’ll ever be other than memory
I can never cope with that
And this feels a lot the same.
Grief of who was closest to my heart.
Lock it away again..