FoundAlongRoad

Walking through the hallway thinking
I am not settled yet
It’s been a long time since a safe feeling
always anxiety in my chest
worries over my fur son
And constant endings
I really want it to work this time
For whatever time
But it started off with amazing complications
And some rough ones
Today started with more than a bang
And everything felt far away
Plans made plans change
And I know I always adapt even while I’m pushing myself too far
Caring about other people and the closing doors
But I had been choosing to believe
The universe sent this to everybody in it
Just couldn’t get past the adrenaline and learning patience
I knew I had it in me to make peace
With what might never be
And still have glorious memories
But it didn’t click
Knew I had to wait for it
To feel like me again
And still hold onto the best
Maybe a bad day was the key
A needed step and moving softly
Still a little off kilter and that wall won’t fall so easily
But between dinner and front porch sitting it feels a little like freedom
Aching but knowing I can only witness the growing and concentrate on my own and it’s ok if for today I’m off my game cuz it’s not just play it’s being human
Still like a magnet trying to press the brakes gently
Wanna believe there are still good things in the world
Maybe healthy realism is what to unfold
So for right now
As the sun’s going down
My baby boy next to me
Maybe front porch sitting is enough
To just be.