FoundAlongRoad

The thing is
I remember feeling like this
With her
Toward the end
So lonely in everything
So is it just trauma responding
And isn’t it supposed to feel like this
When its still at the beginning
And when it’s distant
Or is it cuz the honeymoon period keeps getting suffocated cuz it’s not realistic
Is it real if we both still feel and keep trying
Or is it just unhealthy attachment
To an ideal
I miss you so much right now but I can’t imagine
Just asking you to hold me
Letting it all out
Like I want to for you through your battles
But I know I could just say I wanna cuddle
It’s the admission of all the weakness
That I can’t afford and you reinforce
Just scraps of comfort
Like I can’t sink in and feel at ease
But is that due to you or me
Do you feel like this
You said you felt safe and loved before
Do you resent me already
Is it all in my head
If I asked would you be soft to me
You do it all on your own
But the whiplash has my anxiety too high to know peace
It was right there within our reach
Now idk if it’s just the muck drug up in me
Or if it’s the things I should see
That I don’t want to
I just want to lie with you
And just forget the world
Is that feeling in our cards
Do you get there
Can I get there
Are we together in here..
Where..