FoundAlongRoad

Lately I’ve been down
And idk how far
Feeling like the wrong timeline
For a long time
Maybe my lifetime
Or maybe it just feels wrong
Cuz for the first time
My time is mine
And I wanna redo my whole life
Weird happiness in knowing now I’m not gonna die
At least not for a little while
But it could still come at any time
So I don’t wanna waste mine
But that reaper had me in a chokehold
Now that it let go my bruises are healing but as my vision has been clearing I see the path I wanna take with no way to get to it
I see who I wanna be and I take the steps but it’s so far away it feels too late
But maybe I’m only starting my third quarter
Not at the end of my game
But maybe the end is hovering around the corner
Torn between a sprint and a steady pace
I’ve been down lately
But I feel so lucky
And like I squandered it
Skills I had like opportunities faded
And I’ll take the years to try to build it back
But I can’t quite reach that
The goal, the dream, the things I could’ve been
And I still love me and the life I’ve been given and the one I ripped right out of myself to be living how I want but what do you do when you find you want .. more.
I always dreamed of the unattainable awake or asleep it drove me to words depicting more perfectly than the real world has shown to be
But I’ve been dragged down into the deep and I set the bar realistically and now I’ve been thinking fantastically and realizing there might not be enough of me to reach what might exist after all so does that mean it isn’t meant for me
Or did I fuck it all up
Do I pour everything into hoping I can reach the peak
And risk failing and falling down so steep
Or do I make peace
With what I have and what I may never achieve
And be happy in that and easier with me
Greatness never comes to those who recede
But what if it really was never meant for me and im setting myself up for delusion when I could be content
Lifetimes already spent