FoundAlongRoad

I keep thinking about the good moments
Idk if I’m forgetting or there really were so few
Probably somewhere in between is usually the truth
But I know I tried to live a life on good nights
When it wasn’t right
And I destroyed her and my own heart in time
And her and I were so much better to begin with
-()-
And I can’t do it all again
Loving potential
-()-
Everything is blurry lately
And it hurts like a dull ache
But so much of me is still lost in grief
Probably always will be
And now mourning what I thought we could be
-()-
Which means I have to finish with your half packed things
-()-
But then did I ever even really have you
To begin with
And I’m haunted by the few good times
The feel of your hand in mine
And your fucking eyes
-()-
But there really are so few..
Overshadowed by what we turned into..
You never really knew me
As much as I for once let you
Everyone can only see from their perspective
And maybe even mine is skewed
Anymore
I still see so much in you
But I felt so horrible
And we still feel stuck in your cycles
Being alone is hard
All the pain I can’t distract away
But it’s worse when you don’t see me
Yours is always more
I’ve been there before
Hell I’m sure it is
With what you live with
But it’s still just different
It shouldn’t be a competition
Or a lack of space
For empathy
Understanding
I always try to give that
Until it breaks me
And you did..
So quickly
But I was too far gone already
So I will heal from it
And maybe have regrets
But I have bigger ones
I don’t want to make the same mistakes
And add you darker on that list
But I won’t abandon you
Cuz we made promises
We have something
But I’ll never be right either
And maybe one day you’ll admit
How much you can’t stand me
And just can’t stand to be alone
And need the love I’ve shown
But you need it from yourself
And maybe someone else
Who you can actually see
And understand
And I need that from me
And no more negativity
In how I’m unseen
So I will stay
And try to love you
Without losing me
We should’ve never done this
But I wouldn’t change parts of it
-()-
Maybe you’ll learn how to love again
And if not we’ll part
It’ll be ugly I’m sure
But I don’t kill myself for those I love anymore
Even if they think they’d do the same
And can’t help who they are
I’m still the one willing to walk through the flames
For love
But not to burn up
Cuz real love does not require such.