FoundAlongRoad

There’s a smile she gives when she’s teasing
Makes my heart feel like it’s drunk
On sunlight and carbonation
Fizzy inside
So I remind
Myself what I don’t want
Instead of that I’ll never be enough
Let myself down gently
Pull the parachute from the high
Enjoy the sensation
Of motivation
But never really try
Cuz then I won’t get dashed on the rocks
Rip apart a good thing
Every time I have to take
A few minutes to begin again
Idk why he says you’re hard to be with
I’m sure I’ll figure it out
But I don’t think I could ever see you
As less than worth it all now
I don’t trust men’s opinions anyhow
But to hear that come out of his mouth
I’m sure we all go through hell with exes
But it made me instinctively defensive
Was it bad enough to be so blunt
To a practical stranger
About the mother of your children
Shaking my damn head
Idk what they see in these men
It only made me a bit sad and more curious
On what all has been missed out on
Did they ever drink you in, see the depths within, did any of them love you the way you needed
Was life too much struggle when you were younger
Or were they never the right fit
I’ve only seen so far in
but it all looks like beautiful organized chaos
With some doors locked
Easy demeanor with swirling tides inside
Maybe they weren’t a good enough swimmer
Maybe they panic when they scuba dive
Are they the reason there are locks deep behind your eyes
Behind your easy smile and million thoughts a mile
Or did they only get so far inside
Things I think about when I know I said I wouldn’t write
About her
But that crack of light was bright enough to blind
Only a few times yet but I would do about anything
To bring it out more
Whatever role I’m cast in
I’ll be it
But I doubt you’re any less than an ocean
Even if I never see beneath it
You deserve more than a love on the beaches