FoundAlongRoad

I said I wouldn’t write again
but I read the new ones from the beginning
Like coming around full circle
from all of these feelings
but I am still in it
a situation
that feels buried
or got a tenth new start
that erased how far
it had already gotten
guess I just didn’t like the direction
I think this part will always hurt
like I may very well never know
exactly her reasons
can only learn my lessons
try to do better
for myself and my life and everyone in this
I laughed at how I called it to begin with
and cried at the healing it gave me
I will not let the bitterness take me
or any future memory
I said I wanted to feel everything
I didn’t mean back to back with one person
But she’s incredible and it was magical
my favorite fucking word
even if it swerved
into toxic and hurt
i will not blame her for her struggles
or anything not returned
all of life is trying to find
the feeling of feeling alive
through all the darkness
and my favorite star is
mapped right in my mind
like all of those nights
along with other precious times
I’ve been lucky to be alive
lately stuck in melancholy
that feeling of the void calling
without ever fully experiencing that connection
that haunts me through all my time
but I’ve seen it in other’s eyes
it exists
and I’ve seen so much hurt and strife
idk if I believe in the balance
of good things
but I search for them
in everything
and cherish every one I find
That part of me will never die
I wish I could give it to everyone
it was born of bleeding
of so many times
trying to stop breathing
or being scared I might
losing everything only to find
the importance of little things
of love in all forms at all times
I know it can all change
any moment
Try not to lose my mind
and hold onto all I am given
only until its right to release it
soothed in darkness
bathed in light
every emotion feels like living
and I may never be met in it
in my mind
but fuck, what a life.