For the first time
From the first night
I felt like you really saw me
Met me in the energy
But I’m admitting now.. you don’t anymore
You don’t
And there were always other things in the way
Was ok to slip into the background
Cuz I don’t need to be in focus
When you were so good at growing this
Taking time to take time
But it’s been beyond that for a while
And I didn’t wanna see it
I am always making myself smaller
More quiet
Trying not to rock the boat
And if it was what it could’ve been
You would still pull me forward again
But those moments are disappearing
Like a star that died
And I could still see the light
Until time caught up to me
I can’t help but wish upon the past
Beg for the feeling back
But I have to sit in that
The cold empty space
That was almost it’s own universe
I didn’t want to be everything..
Somehow now it’s not anything..
And I feel the warmth like a ghost
A lesson I wanted to be a connection
I know it’s still there, like a cord with a short
I’m just sick of never being enough for more
For whatever it was meant for
I didn’t think it would be nothing
The way it felt
And I know time can change on a dime
And you don’t deserve any blame
For missed opportunities
As you unwillingly continue to choose
What diminishes you
So I will find the moon and rise again
Try to be steady
But for a minute I just want to sit
And stare at where
My favorite star used to be