And it’s been getting back to easier
But only rare moments intermixed
Of how it was before, still missing it
Knocking on the door like are you ready to let me in
And I was fine cuz it’s all good
Mostly great
But then I had a dream of
If it was someone
But me
And I spiraled a little and I still know I couldn’t live up
So I’d rather it be no one
Except casual and deep
With us
But I’m not writing your story and what will I do if that wound gets opened
If you’re more comfortable letting someone else in
Rather than exploring this
Within safe confinement
I know I’m making pain out of nothing
Nowhere near there yet
But this slow with low walls has been
Going on long enough to make me question
Long enough to start the fear
I know I can’t let that in here..
Keep waiting for life to get easier
To find a moment to bring it back together
In the only way we both wanted
But then I think all this space
Is haunted
With what it used to be filled with
With the tension when I see it lacking
Like please tell me you’re not growing used to
Holding me at a distance
Just a bad night
Only time can fix it..
But it’s never been good to me..