FoundAlongRoad

And you make plans without me like we used to do
Feel like I’m stuck on a loop
Cuz I’ve been talking to some crazy chick who
Wants to tie me up and keep me forever
And I’m like damn I can’t even get a normal hookup as a distraction
But I know it wouldn’t help to
Get my mind off of you
You’re too pretty too everything
Right there running away
And I’m pissed off again cuz why does it have to be this way
I treated you the same as my best friends
Just a little more flirting and touching when you met me in it
Cuz you fucking met me in it
So why did it have to be like this
Felt like something you didn’t want cuz you didn’t know me
So you threw it away
Like now we can’t even hang
How is that part not supposed to make me feel like garbage
I tell myself I won’t let it but is this just how it is now
It didn’t have to be and I tried so hard to show you
I still do
That I can just be secure and not demanding of you
But why am I the one left
Missing even our friendship
Don’t you feel anything
I can’t circle like this again
Im healing
But I keep breaking
When you show me new walls
Like what did I do to cause
Any of this
I know what I did
But it’s been so long
Since
I only had good intentions
It was intense then
Just a big misunderstanding
Cuz you say you can separate but you either can’t
Or don’t think I can
That’s all I’ve been doing
And if you got to know me you’d know that
But you never gave that a chance
Like now we’re just surface friends
Roommates becoming more like strangers
That’s all you said you wanted right
So I’m living my life
But I just don’t know why
It was all worth throwing away
Why is that easier for you
Fuck the feelings but the vibe
I miss the easy times
Just hanging out at night
why the hell did that have to die
Like you don’t want anything to do with me
I’m not being sensitive, even last week you would’ve asked
Maybe
What are you scared of and why am I paying for that
I still wanted to be friends
That part will hurt till the end
And I think it warrants that
So I’ll be fine again
I’ve been through worse
But to try to be open to something I didn’t think existed only to be hurt
That cuts but it’s not what gets me
That part was expected cuz it was all unexpected
It’s the way you wanna be almost strangers
Like I don’t have a say and I’m not worth the energy
I said before platonic heartbreak hurts the worst
This one is all wrapped up in complication
But I didn’t make the chaos guess our energy started to headbutt
And so you run
And I don’t chase
The bar so high on chemistry I can’t find another face
To take your place with what started and didn’t have to break
It could’ve just been fun
I know it felt like so much
But I didn’t create that, we could’ve ignored that
That’s all I’ve done
But living with a best friend
No matter benefits or none
Was supposed to be fun
I swear it was
And it’s the cut off
Like what the fuck
I guess you just didn’t know me enough
I felt it out to adapt and I’m healing in that
But I’m the only one..
I got isolation as a coping mechanism
So I get it
Except that I’m the only one
You took all your energy from
Thought it was everywhere and overwhelm
But I’m gonna have to face the truth soon
It’s still given to others so it begs why I’m not enough
Those damn breadcrumbs
And I will not allow myself to think about
It like that
Like it’s something I did or I lack
I examined everything I acted from
But for just an hour or two at night
when its dark and I can’t say anything right
I let myself feel those feelings
Let them pass let them come
So they don’t control me
Cuz the truth is living like this
Is still a blessing
but it’s gonna hurt the whole experience
And long past learning the lessons

Then she comes over to say, if you wanna go, idc, n walks away..
Idk who is n I wanna take the little polite leaf
Like maybe it could help
Or maybe I should stay and make peace with the change myself..
That used to be our reconciliation
Into more than comfortable again
The pool nights
Now it’s only manners saying I could tag a long
Or is it with her I swear I never know
But I have to quit trying to decipher everything
For everyone’s sake