FoundAlongRoad

I know I’m a cancer moon
And never met potential I didn’t fall into
But it’s just harder to let go sometimes
Earlier I was fine
But I guess that’s where I am tonight
Mourning something that felt so right
Cuz I never had it before in my life
But I guess we were both just lost in that new hope
The excitement of firsts before the bubble bursts
But when I look back when I was at my happiest
We weren’t anything
You were just letting me in
Playing it moment by moment
And I wasn’t missing anything
So yes conditioning says hey this could be a ship
But I know I’ve always been different
And life kicked in and said that’s not where we’re sailing
Doesn’t mean to let go of the rope
Just loosen the tension
Lose the mentions
Of what if
Or what is this
Commit to being friends
And figuring out our own shit
And sometimes doing life together
Without the pressure
Cuz I miss those nights
With your smile in your eyes
I know it’s just life
But it was also walls so sometime
I’d just like
To get back to moments like that
Wanna lay together and talk or laugh
Knowing we’re not driving this anywhere
Only on our own path
Just crossing roads through routines and letting go
Cuz there are still things I wanna know
Of you as a person
And jokes to make
Maybe someday
More getting to know your body
Don’t take that away
It was supposed to be fun and easy
That connection made it all feel like teasing
something that I’m not sure is in the cards
So shut the door
I wasn’t missing it before
In letting yourself be soft when you wanted
Just chilling when you didn’t
Gas you up cuz that’s just how I’m living
Little flirting little ‘fuck life is hard’
We don’t gotta shoot for the stars
Sometimes you gotta break it to make something new that better fits you
Feels relieving
I don’t wanna try to be everything
That’s where it always breaks me
Just give me some gaps and the rest can be patched on your own or with whoever
Just hope it ain’t the last dude
I think I went from nostalgic to accepting in one poem
Guess it’s been ping ponging back and forth
Cuz you always thought I wanted more
When I was just happy to have any moment
Don’t have to try so hard
And I know I did entertain it
Cuz it felt like we were supposed to
But it feels better not trying to
Cuz I missed you when you couldn’t barely stand to talk to me
And I would be hurt more except for the empathy
I know it must’ve felt like heavy expectations
It was frustrating not being able to get through them, through to you about the easier truth
I didn’t want them either
But I think we needed a breather
To both get there and maybe now hopefully better
I think the nostalgia comes from how I still love
The chemistry
We hit toxic and severing
It cut a cord that was hovering
So can I just be me now with you
Like we used to
Without it feeling like we’re trying to
Build something that will crush us both
I can see the holes so that hope is a ghost
But I still get calm putting you to sleep
I still remember what you said in bed with me
And what it was all supposed to be
Fun, easy.
So take your time but I think I’m still just like
I don’t want anything anytime, for me
Except that chemistry is fire so I’ll take those nights
But don’t force it
If I’m still living
We got time
And a lot of life
To do too
I think I’m just used
To everyone losing interest
But maybe that’s cuz it just wasn’t what we were always trying to make it
I’ve grown so much since then
Can it just be easy, only when it’s easy, neither of us need
to get into anything
N mess up each other
Let’s just have fun together
And get through the stress of life too
I think that’s more than enough, don’t you