FoundAlongRoad

Dead and buried all day
Woke up to being slain
Like I swear I was just existing
But I know where I messed up again
But fuck him
And by the night I’ve been fed up
Can’t even talk to me like I’m not just a problem
And I’m trying to only give the energy you deserve
Even when inside I know I don’t deserve this
But you’re worth it
And I get that you didn’t choose this
But it’s a little bit shit
And then..

Man I’m starting to be a little concerned
But I’m also trying to learn
The way that beautiful chaotic brain works

We’ve been here before
A few times
It just increases in intensity
In proportion to propensity
Of the natural progression

In the sunlight she said ‘it’s bad, it’s been bad, it’s done, nothing anymore’
After midnight it was instead ‘you and him just need a middleground (💀🙅), I just can’t decide, I can’t make decisions’
And I’m like shit did I just hear this?
Her feelings are like a baby deer, in headlights
Just don’t shine on it
It’s skittish but it’ll come back if you’re quiet
It’s only happened a hundred times already
I know it’s a little deadly
But I’ve always loved a little toxic back n forth
I miss the easy times
But it’ll be so much better after living through whatever
The rest of this is
I guess this was progression
But I’ll never know what tomorrow brings
It’s hell when it’s in it
As it passes I kinda love it
Cuz I’m still a little broken

And she hesitated on the stairs
Like i could’ve gone up there
But I’m not pushing anything
Until the storm is way beyond the horizon
Learning to let the air out earlier
And give it time to settle
To lessen the overwhelm and lashing out
I know her brain must be such a hard place to live
But I still love all of it.

.
I’ve decided despite past evidence
to take it as unsure about him staying..
I think that’s valid
cuz I don’t think we’re out of the woods yet
little bits at a time