FoundAlongRoad

And she’s down there with him right now
Like how
Is she supposed to get better
Am I supposed to be alright
And I know I’ll be alright
It’s the only choice
But I’m not fine
So I gotta start letting go tonight
How can I
After a good day
How can I
After every
Thing
But how can I not
When I keep crashing out
When the miracle of the energy is coming back
Like more than I deserve to ask
But then she puts those walls up like an attack
Are we separating everything
Or are we going back
Just healthier
Cuz I only signed up for one of those
Said I could do the other
But not like this
No not like this
Only if it dies a natural death
Or it’s not permanent
I know I’m an idiot
Both ways
Like give it time
And also if she wanted to she would
Maybe not
But I can’t keep feeling like I’m no good
I do it to myself
But never thought I could
End up here from there
But I’m standing in the rear-view mirror
Of the best nights of my life
I know it’s pathetic right
Except that it was so right
Why’d it have to get that pressure on it
I know it’ll be the rest of my life
Round in circles can’t break from it
From the wanting
Maybe if I let it go it’ll come back
Maybe I’m still doing something wrong
But I can’t ask
Unsure footing all along
And I’ll be damned if we’re tripping again
The days are still everything
But they remind me of everything
That’s still hesitant
Or even beyond it
Cuz it doesn’t make sense
Why it has to be gone again
I swear every day I see
How if we both weren’t ready and sure
We’d destroy each other
So I don’t want that tether
I just want the magic back
No pressure
Fuck
Gave me a hit of
A new drug
Like those dreams where you live a whole life
And wake up empty inside
Cuz it had to be real right
Cut me off
Like I was the one in the wrong
I don’t think any of it was wrong
And other than natural what ifs I was only along
For the ride the same I’ve been
I don’t need promises
Or anything
Don’t need you to be mine
Just connect with me
Some nights
But I can’t be here begging only getting angry
In frustration
Cuz we can’t quite talk about it yet
And I can always always regulate
But apparently not with this
So I gotta let it go
Mourn it
Start the eternal process
To be me again
Cuz if I’m not enough it is what it is
And if the easy stuff will come along I gotta keep myself together to get to it
Everything can change in a moment
It has and has and has
But I can’t hold onto that
And miss everything I still have.