FoundAlongRoad

Couldn’t make it one ride
Like opposite magnets
Churning and pushing away
Reminds me it always goes this way
That’s why there’s space
Cuz it hurts the way it seems to burn
At you to get away
To lash out to dismiss
It’ll feel so soft like the beginning
And I get whiplash every time
The turn on a dime
It’s been long enough
To forget why I had to quit
To not try
I won’t sink there again
I won’t take it on
The search for reasons
Trapped in the fog
I won’t wear the identity we’ve given me
I won’t bear the weight of what will never be
Cuz I’ll never quite understand
How the current turned
To bite the hand
Scorch marks left all over
The air we share
I guess I forgot how I got here
The twisting feeling
Of not being able to say anything right
Scared of some mistaken slight
Charred flesh before my mind
Can even catch up
Distance to keep the peace
To avoid the inevitable
And I know you hate to be talked about
I don’t have the energy
To psychoanalyze it anymore
And I don’t have the heart
To let it hurt like before
Will I miss this when it ends
When it’s gone into memories
Like the ones I got lost in
Today I watched the past
My old life
Over and over again
And I know it was hard when I was in it
It’s easier to look back and miss it
When I have stability I never had then
But I look at the laughter
And what it all could’ve been
What it was for a while
And something deep in me breaks down
It’s lonely here
On this path
In this house
Have I built back up enough now
Can I just be done now
I miss the comfort
Of being surrounded with love
It was never perfect
But did I appreciate it enough
One struggle to another
Can I take this me back to then
Linear time is not my friend