FoundAlongRoad

And I know writing about it
For me is like stabbing a tire
Lets the pressure out
So I can get my mind around it
Eventually
That’s always worked for me
For the emotional at least
But the physical has always been that hurdle
It can get mixed in or be on its own again
But it rules me
Desire I can’t quench
My Achilles tendon is where pleasure lives
And today
I felt better
You’re getting there and I don’t feel the pressure
To get back to where
It was never
Gonna go again
But for you the rest is dead
And that conversation..
Letting new ones in..
I can’t take it.
Can’t face it when I know not to take it all personally but it’s either self loathing or rage maybe somewhere in-between cuz my fingers constantly ask you why not me but at the last second I freeze and throw my phone away a few feet it’s been 5 times in two days and I can’t beat the feeling of injustice to my addictions but I know the answer is something I couldn’t handle hearing when I can sit back and sometimes even crack a laugh at seeing how much of it was almost comical miscommunication and it would be funnier if it didn’t knock my heart clean off beat when I didn’t even wanna uncover the key and if you had ever asked I would’ve found it just as scary    –
when you drop clingy like a slur and even though I know what you mean and even agree that one feels personal –