FoundAlongRoad

Craving striking strong in this
Delirious week
Do you remember what I said
Living with the last one
Muse I mean
And it had only been months if any
Not years on empty
Still rabid
And I’m check check checking again
Can you please care just a bit
Obsessively checking
But even if you come back then
It’s already shattered
The initial level
Of voluntary delusion
Checkmate
But I know I never really did it all wrong
Only comes on too strong
Cuz the rest of the world is weak
Or, ya know, never genuine
And no one is healthy
Including me
I didn’t say I did no wrong
Cuz I go weak
Sex drive like a teenage guy
Honestly probably worse
And too many supporting experiences
And not enough
Where I mess up is I can never resist to mix them
Every base is platonic love
Until it’s sex
Except then
It’s still both
Unless I’m indifferent.
I only romanticize
every single synapse of life
So whats it supposed to feel like
To Not be in love with every atom of every being you brush souls with
Through a glance, a laugh, a witnessed tear
Then again
I never ever wanna kiss men
Or find the same degree of intimacy
.. i think it’s a them issue
Not quite ‘just every single one’
Evolution.
If I didn’t isolate, torn two ways, I think id just be like the new testament but for friendship, I’m just ahead of the curve the pivot.. softer, deeper, and all love meets along the same road, if you strip it of all that’s added
And I’ve always found it like an extra sense, just like breathing it forms beyond consciousness, originates already intense
Forming in any human moment, every shard of life lived
Every possible connection
Real but fleeting or coaxed with a breath of repetitive glimpses, tinder catching until it lives in my chest
If you opened me up you’d see infinite embers, ashes blowing into the next, making room but never disappearing, the echoes of every moment are loud in my head
Of every witnessed bit of humanity
The compassionate and the desperate
The weightless and the heaviest
Isn’t everyone comprised of imprints
Can you not love a stranger
Just in a flicker of a shared depth
Do you not connect with a part of them
Isnt that the danger with feeling as a concept
And there’s so much evil
Actions of shattered people and pure ‘waste of breath’s
So it’s rarer
To discover
Radiance
In the flash of a mind or a scream from the chest
Do you not absorb the very life in it
Vibrations of pain or shaking laughter
I just think love has depths
And we lump so much in
Yet I also falter
All the disappointment, the rage
Bleeding hearts wearing blinders
To make it through a day
With any blood left
Anyone with empathy isn’t okay
Maybe ever
It was never utopia
But now hell in the modern era
Dimming redemptive qualities
So we hold our vices close
Like the fork in the road for me
I could write just as pretty almost-prose
About how her sweat soaked skin would feel sliding against me
The way the current could flow across us
Through every cell until we both exist only in every point of contact and yet infinite
The brain is the most important sexual organ
And I’ll never not burn from within
At every slip of wit of raw of passion
I’m not sure blindness could even enhance it
Beauty is in both hormones and perspective
Eyes opening as a metaphor
But I won’t pretend finding her gorgeous doesn’t steal my breath that much more
Poets and carnivores
Dreaming of devouring and of being consumed
In the end, maybe it’s all the same
Just dressed up in a suit
Like if you’re insane
How self aware are you?
One person’s religion is another’s excuse
So I’ll try to only be there until we’re not there, I’ll try to only meet you..
Checking checking but then check myself