FoundAlongRoad

Cautious
Always
But lately
The changing
Not bored
Not alone
On my own
And yet
Tethered
Excited for what each day will bring
And my brain is stimulated
Systems feeling protected
Not all shielding
So unexpected
Never knew that’s all I needed
And yet isn’t that what I had
As a kid
My whole life until I lost it
But I’ve never felt content enough to access
Those wounds or understanding
But as others quiet
Deeper ones always rising
I could never reach them
Cuz I never had anything to fit
Into the holes
Except trying
To love the parts of me they never did
Yearning for connection
I didn’t realize it didn’t have to be romantic
In the sense that everyone gives it
All I was missing
Was to be understood
And be wanted
With a healthy side of both open
And curious
Draped in warmth
But I always thought wanted
Had to include in bed
The nuclear bs picture we are fed
Even if branching out from it
I knew happiness was never so clear cut
But I had my addictions
They stay in the background as I swirl
Trauma to turn to a chance to heal
And become
Something more fulfilled
Less singularly minded
And it doesn’t mean I’m not dangerous
But I am trying
And it’s a bit like
my inner child
Could finally drop armor
I thought was built into my skin
I only want to also return this gift eternally