FoundAlongRoad

I think I would be the kind
of senile
That like
Puts in a tampon in the middle of the road
When I’m not in a car
Even after menopause
Some people put remotes in the fridge
But I’ve been losing my mind a long time
Too much intentional damage
And I leave for work and stop to think
Do I have clothes on
It’s only a matter of time
I don’t just misplace things I separate
Entirely from reality
Eventually I just won’t come back
Every time I cut a tether I wonder
Will this be the one to set me free
Terrifying
But I do it purposefully
For many reasons
And I know I’d be the one acting like I’m on molly
In the grocery store
Trying to take a stranger to the bathroom
Only consensual but I’d ask them all
So I need the self control
To keep the intrusive thoughts in
They’re mostly sexual
Wonder what happened to me as a kid
I’ve heard stories
But I’ll never know
It must’ve been big
Worse than the ones that I can clearly recall
Even a terrible woman knew enough to say
Everywhere in the world they hurt little girls
But don’t get me started on the ‘she’s crazy in the end’ trope
Cuz there’s also
The only appropriate response to reality is to go insane
And it was written by men, all the same
Everything’s a simulation anyway
Is that realistic
I don’t know anymore
Stories of things doubling or disappearing
I never believed in ghosts or the lord
But I know the lore
Now there’s stuff freezing in the sky and streets melting
We couldn’t handle the truth any day
Used to cling to logic like saving grace
Now I just hope someone tells me
If I forget to get dressed
When I leave the house
It was all designed to make us spin out
Safer to just stay home anyhow
But I fell down a new wormhole and gotta go touch grass
Can we go analog
Get the 90s back
Keep the new mentality
The kids aren’t alright but at least no one’s straight
The men are getting worse but mostly only the weak
Just that 99%
I wanna wrap a phone cord the whole way around the corner
To get some privacy
But then I also love texting and memes
You can never go back
You can’t resuscitate
The gray matter that suffocates
CPR my whole brain
One day I was dissociating
As one does
And when I came back it didn’t feel like a big tug
Not a far jump
I don’t know when, I just know it’s everything
Overstimulation
Under-connecting
Everyone is in fight or flight
The common one is freeze
So we move like zombies
Repeat, repeat
Give me those old tape store machines
Rewind
Back to the origin of life
Steal the tree and run away with Eve
I don’t think one bite was enough
We don’t know anything
Sir can I borrow your rib
Start mankind over again
This time I’m letting Lilith run it
Go ahead test it
Probably already did
Seems like we’re headed exactly where the powerful wanted
Oh none of that’s real?
Well neither is anything you feel
But it’s everything we get
So pick a coping mechanism
I’ll pick out a shirt
And if I live long enough
To the day that I don’t
If the new scans don’t get me first
I’d say let me live, man
Put me in the woods
But I’ve had enough hurt
We’ve all had more than our worth
So set me down and plug me in
Let me see my babies again
And if it isn’t real I’ll never know