FoundAlongRoad

As the fog clears
To put your finger on the hurt
Is like naming a demon
It leaves an ache
But lessens the curse
I can clearly see it
Same old drug
Just stronger in the pieces found
Always potential
When I heard you with your best friend
Like a different life calling to me
Teasing sunlight
Like all of your epiphanies
You could do the work
Just not for me
You could fast track it
But he’s all you see
I’ll never understand it
And I know part of it is running from real intimacy
But it’s also just that in this timeline
It could never be me
It helps to see the conflict clearly
It could’ve maybe been so much more
And I could’ve wanted it
But it’s the same closed door
I’m hidden behind with everyone before
Drawn lines
I won’t bleed to cross anymore
It could’ve been easy
Or it could’ve been so much more
It’s a bittersweet peaceful feeling
To admit the fragments
Almost fit
To mourn what could’ve
But never could’ve been
So close to the very thing
The only elusive thing
The whole puzzle of connection
But it was always disregard
And if that’s the biggest obstacle
I can hold the pain in my hand
Not some misshapen thing
Clearly defined
In what I will never settle for again
And mourn what could’ve maybe never been
A start to an ending
Accepting eternal yearning
And going into another lifetime searching
If it isn’t this one
I’ve had enough
I’ve had enough
So very much
But never all in one
And I’ve had enough settling
So I let the feeling settle in