FoundAlongRoad

Sometimes I play a game like
Until I open it
You’re anything
Could be just fine, alive, not alright
Like how until I open the door
He’s both asleep and a nuisance
Just a thought nothing more
But the dangerous times
I
Let my mind run wild
Maybe it’ll say
‘-wants to kiss you’
And if I never open it it both exists and never did
The moment, the precipice
I can go with it in either direction
Just to wonder how it would feel
Cuz until I see it
It stays impossible and so real
What would I even do then
You as you are would never
So it’s just a little thing
Like it’s clever
Teasing imagination
Like boiling a kettle
But cracking the lid
So it still screams at me
But less than it would’ve been
Or maybe I turned it up too high
Feeding the heat in my mind
But I’m too old to chase these addictions
It’s too alive here to cause my affliction
And pining is ok right
I told myself that’s the line
Pining like Victorian poets going all in with the most until there’s nothing left to give except it’s all letters kept and pages to be shred
Tangible only in my head
And as long as I always know the difference
For as long as I can
And so much as I never seek to close distance
I can give breath to it
Just for a second a few times every so often
What if it’s this one
That says you sent that threat
Or made that change
Left everything behind
Or pushed everyone else away
It could be so many sentences
Cuz your mind comes up with all the things
So sometimes when the moment’s right
I imagine receiving it in a way that fits
The tone you’re in
And maybe I like it because it’s gambling
With absolutely everything
And yet not even a bit
Cuz you’re so much better
Than it ever containing any of the phrases I let my dreams drift toward
My favorite comfort is always maybe in another world
I don’t really believe it
Just like I know better before it becomes reality
And usually what you give is more than I could ever come up with anyway
But I still play
Just a little game
With infinity